That Independent Life

Well, good morning everyone. We’re so glad that you’re here. My name is Carlos Sommer, senior pastor. If you’re watching online, we’re so glad you’re joining us from across our city and the surrounding region.

We’re in this series called The Redeemed Life. We’re exploring what it means to follow Jesus in every season—from young to old, across every circumstance. Sometimes we think we’ve reached the pinnacle. But the truth is, if we’ve said yes to Jesus, redemption isn’t a one-time event. It’s the daily thread that runs through every season of our lives. No matter our age, stage, or relationship status, we are always in need of redemption because we live in a fallen world.

Last week we talked about being “young and free”—about the impact of our families and how the environments we grew up in shape us. Whether healthy or unhealthy, we don’t grow up in a vacuum. We carry things with us. And the question is: how do we bring those things before God and allow Him to redeem them? Christ purchased us by His blood—not for isolation, but for relationship with Him.

As I was preparing this week, I came across a prayer written by Scotty Smith from Nashville’s Hymns. I wanted to share part of it to prepare our hearts for this message on the redeemed life. One of our volunteer leaders, Elaina Harrell from our North Campus, recorded it for us:

“Gracious and sovereign Father, remembering Your big story of redemption is not only a great joy but a critical discipline. So many narratives compete for our hearts, days, energy, and resources. Remind us today of the main storyline that unfolds in the Bible, connects all of history, and reveals Your generous heart. Help us once again find our place in the story. Thank You that You have made us to be characters in and carriers of Your great story of redemption. So let us live and love with gratitude. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

This week we’re filling in the blank differently. Instead of “young and free,” we’re talking about the independent life.

Now, some might call this the single life. But “single” carries so many nuances and assumptions. It doesn’t quite capture the heart of what we’re talking about. There are many ways people live independently, and I want you to hear me clearly: this topic is not marginal.

Across our country, nearly half the population age 15 and up lives what some would call the independent or single life. That’s not a small segment of society. It’s not a small segment of our city. It’s not a small segment of our church. This isn’t a story about “them.” It’s about us.

All of us either are living the independent life or are called to be in meaningful relationship with those who are. So when we talk about this, we need ears ready to hear and hearts ready to receive.

Biblically, this isn’t a fringe topic either. The apostle Paul addresses it directly in 1 Corinthians 7. And here’s what’s important: Paul does not treat singleness as a problem to be solved, but as a gift to be stewarded.

In a culture that sells us romance as ultimate—through movies, music, marketing, even entire industries built around love—this can sound strange. Being in love isn’t a bad thing. It’s just not the ultimate thing for your soul.

The independent life is not a waiting room until “real life” begins. It’s not solitary confinement until someone else gives you permission to start living. It is a vocation. A responsibility. A gift.

I’ve seen this modeled firsthand. I’m the product of two grandmothers who lived independently with purpose. One was widowed after eight children and would say, “Jesus is my man.” The other, still alive in Puerto Rico, strong and full of humor, would joke about getting married again—but she preached the gospel, discipled women, and fed the poor. They lived their independence as calling.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes that it is “good” to remain unmarried. Not merely permissible. Not barely acceptable. Good. The same word used in Genesis when God looked at creation and said, “It is good.” In our culture, “good” can sound mild. But biblically, it means aligned with God’s purposes—beautiful and wise.

Singleness is not a deviation from God’s design. It is part of it.

Christian adulthood does not equal marriage. Maturity is not measured by relationship status. It is measured by belonging to Christ.

Paul himself was single. Jesus, the Savior of the world, was single. Many leaders who shaped the early church lived the independent life.

So how did we get to a place where singleness feels like a problem when Scripture presents it as a gift? Culture plays a role. Family expectations play a role. Some of us grew up in cultures where being unmarried at 30 meant something was “wrong.” Shame creeps in.

But the highest form of intimacy is covenant intimacy with God. When we say yes to Jesus, when we are baptized, when we die to ourselves and rise in Christ—that is the deepest intimacy of the soul.

Singleness is not the core problem. Sin is. In every season of life, our desires need redemption. Whether young, independent, married, or facing the unexpected, our desires must be surrendered and redeemed by Christ.

Second, your identity is not your relationship status.

When someone asks, “Tell me about yourself,” how often do we lead with married, single, parent, divorced? Those aren’t wrong descriptors. The question is: where do we locate our identity?

Colossians 3 tells us that our lives are hidden with Christ in God. We have died to ourselves and been raised with Him. That dismantles performance-based and relationship-based identities.

Relationship statuses change. Children grow up. Spouses pass away. Seasons shift. If our identity is rooted in something that can change, then our sense of self will fracture when it does.

But in Christ, we receive our deepest identity as a gift. You are not defined by who wants you. You are defined by who died for you. You are not defined by your sexual history or attraction, but by your adoption as sons and daughters of the Father—beloved, forgiven, redeemed, and called.

And for those who desire marriage, hear this: marriage doesn’t fix everything. The desires and patterns that go unchecked in independence do not disappear in marriage—they are amplified. That’s why our desires must be redeemed now, in every season.

Third, the independent life offers the gift of undivided devotion.

Paul says the unmarried person can be concerned with the Lord’s affairs—devoted in body and spirit. Marriage brings beautiful, legitimate responsibilities. But independence brings a unique capacity for availability.

Your schedule, mobility, emotional bandwidth, and resources can be leveraged for God’s mission in ways that are often harder in other seasons. Independence is not a deficit. It is availability.

We see that in people like Elizabeth Elliot, who remained on the mission field even after her husband was killed—anchored not in her marital status, but in her calling.

We see it in volunteers like Aaron in our church, who pours into the next generation week after week. She wrote, “All of us, especially in the church—even if we don’t have kids—have the ability and responsibility to build into the next generation. I feel honored to contribute to what God is doing now and in the future.”

Contribution to the family of God matters deeply in this season.

Jesus redefined family in Mark 3 when He said, “Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” Spiritual kinship can be stronger than biological kinship. In the kingdom of God, married and independent, young and old, we are one family.

So what does this mean?

It means singleness is not a curse to escape but a calling to live.

It means your identity is not defined by marital status or sexual orientation, but by your union with Christ.

It means you have a unique opportunity—right now—to live with undivided devotion to the Lord.

And it means in God’s family, you are never meant to be alone. Not because marriage is guaranteed, but because belonging already is.

The gospel does not promise you a spouse. It promises you a Savior. It does not promise romance. It promises redemption. It does not promise that every desire will be fulfilled—but that your deepest desire for love, meaning, and home has already been met in Christ.

The independent life is not a lesser life. It is a life of purpose, power, and profound spiritual potential. And when lived in Christ, it is not empty—it is full.

Let’s pray.

Lord, wherever we are—young or old, independent or married, in seasons of joy or seasons of grief—our hearts need to be surrendered to You. Thank You for the redeeming work of Jesus on the cross and how it continues to shape us every day. In Christ’s name, amen.