“I just can’t help myself.” Finding freedom from lust can seem like an impossible challenge for many.

Most of us have said it. Some of us have lived it.
When it comes to sexual desire, that sentence feels like a confession—and sometimes, a curse.

What if you’re a follower of Jesus, but lust still lingers like a shadow?
What if you know the right theology but feel powerless in the moment?
What if, instead of help, the Church gave you shame?

Let’s be honest: this is a universal struggle, and it doesn’t go away because you love God more.
It gets addressed when you let God into the deepest parts of your desire.

The Truth About Desire

Let’s start here: God made you with a sex drive. And He called it good.

Desire, by itself, isn’t sinful. It’s sacred.

But lust is what happens when we hijack that desire—when we take a good gift and use it on our own terms.
Lust is desire without love.
It’s selfish. It’s impatient. It’s always in a rush.
It uses others for gratification, not connection.

Jesus didn’t shy away from the topic. In fact, He raised the stakes:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
—Matthew 5:27–30 (NIV)

This isn’t about fear or mutilation—it’s about urgency.
It’s about naming what keeps us bound, and letting Jesus break the cycle.

What Lust Steals From Us

Lust offers a cheap substitute for intimacy.
It promises relief but leaves you emptier.

It’s not just about porn, hookups, or infidelity.
It’s the second look.
It’s the fantasy you feed.
It’s the DM you send even though you know where it leads.

The danger isn’t just in what lust does—it’s in what it takes:

• Your peace
• Your relationships
• Your ability to see people as people
• Your freedom

Uncontrolled desire becomes its own kind of slavery.

The Power of the Gospel

Here’s what makes the message of Jesus radically different from the world and from religious moralism:
He doesn’t start with shame. He starts with love.
But He doesn’t leave us stuck either.

You can’t heal what you won’t name.
You can’t get free if you’re still pretending you’re fine.
And you can’t be transformed if your greatest goal is just to “manage it better.”

The way of Jesus invites you to repentance, not punishment.
To confession, not concealment.
To wholeness, not repression.

“You can have privacy or healing—but not both.”

What Does Freedom Look Like?

Here’s where it starts:

• Repent – not just from your actions, but from believing lust will ever satisfy what only God can.
• Run – the Bible doesn’t say “grit it out.” It says flee sexual sin.
• Confess – not just to God, but to others. This is where real healing begins.
• Renew your mind – fill it with truth, not lies. Replace fantasy with Scripture.
• Guard your eyes and your heart – what you feed will grow. Choose wisely.

This isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a lifelong walk.
But here’s the hope: you don’t walk it alone.

Final Word: Come As You Are

You are not what you’ve done.
You are not what’s been done to you.
You are not defined by your desires.

You are invited by Jesus into something better.

If you feel like you’re drowning, you’re not disqualified—you’re exactly the kind of person Jesus came for.

You don’t have to wear that lead vest anymore.
Come to the Father. Come be made holy. Come and be made whole.

Resources

Looking for recovery at Gateway: Visit https://www.gatewaychurch.com/restore/

• “The Steps to Freedom in Christ” by Neil T. Anderson
• https://timothycenter.com/ – They have amazing resources for singles, couples, including couples who have been struggling with being sexually intimate, and even those struggling with Sex addiction led by a C-SAT (certified sexual addiction therapist)
• Puredesire.org and affairrecovery.com  – These help with addiction and betrayal trauma